Nut jobs for friends who make 4 am gibbering, spiffy trash talking and facebook whoring feel generously sane, family members you want to disown and run away from and kids, well, I’d be damned to think that I’m the grown up with them smart imps around. But the *face palm* incidents, when you think back and live it all, is nothing less than gut-busting. Living yesterday, once more.
After an exceptionally random discussion about cows, D and me at 2 am were arguing about the sounds of the cow, excerpts are as follows (found its way immediately into my tweets):
D: Yea, they ‘moo’ babe.
Me: It actually, technically sounds more like ‘mmmaaaaaaoooo’ (I just had to do that and wake up the poor souls sleeping in the next room peacefully counting sheep in their dreams)
D: Ok, I wana say something.
D: The cow says, ‘I like to moo it, moo it!’
Me: I some how successfully missed having a heart stroke after listening to this.
Scene: A bunch of my girls and me, chilling at the park. A girl with massive football boobs walks past us.
V: What the?!
Me: Ok, now that’s giving me a complex.
H: I wonder if she custom makes her bra with the company.
V: Yea, she probably uses Amman TRY tmt bars to make her under-wire ones.
Well, that SO did it for the day!
Rapid fire mokkai sessions with uncle after a particularly filling meal. I remember my sister rubbing my tummy and saying ‘you are not laughing, Buddha.’
Uncle: What is the ‘mint without the hole’?
Uncle: What is the fastest mail?
Uncle: What do you call a phone that does not run properly?
Me: Feigns tummy ache and dashes to the loo vowing never to step out from it…in another gazillion years.
Some time ago, a small kid, a cute kid, comes over and asks for the time,
AwwCuteKid: Akka, what’s the time?
Me: I’m not wearing a watch, sorry.
AwwCuteKid: Then it’s time for you to buy a new watch.
Me: Why, oh GOD WHY?!
Random conversation with the neighbour’s kid. These kids, ITellYou!
SmartyPantKid: You have a colour TV akka?
Me: Yes, why?
SmartyPantKid: What colour is it?
Me: And that’s how I died. Finally.